"The BGs is a brilliant thing"

Formed 15 years ago, our Bereavement Group (the BGs) has provided friendship and support to many people since then. Penny has been part of the BGs for eight years, having been invited to attend after Tester & Jones organised her husband’s funeral.

“I didn’t know Tester & Jones ran a bereavement group until I received an invitation,” she says. “However, when it arrived, I thought I might as well try it out – as I realised I needed to start doing things for myself. My husband I were sole mates and had done everything together, so there was a huge gap in my life.”

At that point, we were running some BGs meetings at the old Millbrook Garden Centre. Penny went along and discovered some other new members were also there that day, which made her feel less alone. In fact, some people she met at the first meeting remain close friends all these years later.

“There was a talk on the various stages of grief and bereavement which I found very helpful and it’s something I’ve returned to over the years,” says Penny. “What really struck a chord was when we were told two to three months down the road, those around us might think we don’t want to talk about our loved ones anymore and that we should somehow have moved on. It isn’t easy to move on but, over time, you do learn to live with the new situation. With regard to talking about your loss, BG members are willing to chat or listen at any time.”

She adds: “We were also advised that grief is like being sat on a beach. Sometimes the sea just tickles your toes and sometimes, from nowhere, a larger wave comes. Often, you see it coming and can move back but, other times, you aren’t at all prepared and it hits you. Everything said made me realise that I wasn’t alone in my feelings.”

While some folk attend the BGS for just a few sessions others, like Penny, continue to gain strength from it a number of years down the road.

“We are a very close-knit group,” she says. “I’ve made some lovely friendships and we meet up regularly, away from the main meetings – for coffee mornings and quiz nights etc. I also have special friends who provide moral support and I can call on for help at any time.”

Penny adds that she’s enjoyed many of the speakers.

“Some have been entertaining, while others have been very useful, such as talks about scamming and Lasting Power of Attorney,” she explains. “I have been on a number of day trips with the BGs and have also been on a holiday with them. They are arranging further day trips and holidays this year. It is good to have the opportunity to go away with others and not on your own.”

She adds: “I honestly can’t thank Tester & Jones enough for creating the BGs. There’s no doubt about the fact that it’s really helped me. The BGs is a brilliant thing.”